During pregnancy I didn't really get the "nesting syndrome", I had the "shopping syndrome." And one day I HAD to find the perfect new hat for Fall 2013 season. I hit the internet with a fury and soon I had a candidate. I showed Vito the hat and he said very definitively: "I don't like it, you should just get a hat like the ones I wear." He wears beanies. What followed of course was one of those heart-to-heart discussions... about women's hats. By the end of it I realized that while Vito has a great eye for interior decorating, he is definitely less versed in women's fashion. (Which is perfectly OK, I really don't need him telling me what to do in yet another area.) I also realized that neither me or him were very equipped to be carrying out the discussion as we didn't even know the proper names for hats. I mean to describe the hat that I currently wear, he calls it a "helmet." And let me quote: "What ever you buy, please don't buy another HELMET." ...EXCUSE ME!? Yes, I definitely have to revisit the "absolutely no criticizing of your wife" policy. Now, before another marriage can suffer due to the lack of millinery vocabulary, and to save you from a mental hemorrhage as you search for hats...
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Let's Review shall we?
1 - Cloche Hat (I'm an eternal romantic...)
fitted, round crown hat with really short brim. Invented in the begining of last century by Milliner Caroline Reboux. These little hats were all the rage in the 1920's. In case you're wondering "cloche" in French means "bell", thus explains the bell shape of this hat.
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2 - Fedora hat or Trilby (I once ran with the best of them Robin Hoods)
The crown has some sort of a dent or crease, brim can be folded up in the back, or be a bit wider.
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3. Floppy Hat (I'm a diva, just call me Bridgitte or Sophia! No autographs please.)
Round crown hat with long enough brim to shade the face.
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4 - Western or Cowboy Hat (I'm so tough, I don't need a horse)
Usually creased crown with slightly upturned brim on the sides.
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5 - The "Helmet" Hat (I'm brilliant. My mind is a coiled python of knowledge! I protect it by always wearing a helmet.)
Oh and apparently there IS such a thing as a helmet hat! Also known as 60's mod hat. Basically it's a hat with a visor. Here is one of my "helmets" for the record.
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6. Beanie hat (I'm always ready for the grand slalom run! swoosh swoosh!)
Stretchy, sock like hat.
If all else fails, I guess I'll have to take my husband's advice and get me a beanie...
(My fear is that they're not glamorous enough, but Jill Sander is on the case.)
I'll just have to get away from the internet and actually go "live shopping" so I can try on the different hats and see which sits well on my head. My hair is huge so it's very tricky to wear any other hats then the stretchy "helmet". And sorry darling, unless you're taking me skiing in Zermatt I refuse to wear a beanie!
• • • LESSONS LEARNED • • •
There is a perfect hat for every situation, and sometimes
the hat you need IS a helmet.